Most important thing is get alone with him. Even if it is after the kiddies are asleep. No TV . Tell him how you feel. he is probably feeling rejected and you may be feeling used. Communication is the thing. I know you hear that alot but it is true. Try and remember all the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Must be a terrific man.
He goes out fights the war and comes home to warmth, comfort, security and wants the little woman to respond. You are there with the kids 24/7 and need to be snuggled, taken care of and listened to without thinking the pay off is gonna be sex.
If possible have a set night every week for date night. Even if you can’t leave the house set up alone time. Go walking once a week even if it is around the house.
I am going to presume that I know a lot here and I think there are probably very few women in mommy/wife relationships that have not felt this way. When we are in relationships with these men who are gone a lot on these adrenaline rush type occupations they go out and do the FF thing and the rush is expected to be continued at home. “oh I’m sorry honey but it is 3am and I realize you are wide awake and roaring but guess what buddy. While you were out doing the ff thing I was here changing diapers and wiping snotty noses of the children YOU helped me make and I want sleep. Try tomorrow night after some adult attention and conversation and not me being treated like a “woman of the night”. ( and honey you cook dinner and change the kids)
And before you “men” start huffing and pointing fingers. Why do we think the divorce for FF is so damn high? Here’s a clue—– Look in the mirror and try and tell us at some point your mindset has not been exactly that. Been out on the engine or the forest, cold, wet, tired beyond sustaining life and still thinking ummmm light on in lamp, toasty home, kiddies all tucked in and asleep, little wife waiting for ME!!!!!!! Think again. you have not talked to her or listened in three days. have no idea what happened while she was alone-and you want WHAT? I think if the one coming home to the sleeping family showered or at least brush the teeth and splash on some after shave and climb into bed and GENTLY snuggle for a while you may be pleasantly surprized. But if you come home smelling like wet smoke and green teeth, strip and HOP into bed and try to reeve up her engine you are probably gonna be properly rejected.
You will be able to derail this train a lot faster and not have to wait 20 years or 4 wives later to see there really is a different way to handle this.
What about how the female FF think on this issue? Would be very interested in your opinion, because it is a very valid issue. And very serious to relationships.
No moniker 2