I know how you feel. Since I’m new to this whole fire thing myself, I know how hard it can be to feel like you’re just sitting there… waiting for news. My SO had been doing this a lot of years before we got together and I just kept reminding myself of that – that he’s very experienced and got along quite well for a lot of years taking care of himself without me, there was no reason to believe that he couldn’t take care of himself now. I still worry though, but not so much now.
I remember the first time he got called out, I did exactly what I promised him I wouldn’t do…I cried. Needless to say, the whole scene didn’t go over very well. He got mad and I felt like I’d let him down. That I had shown him I wasn’t the rock he’d thought he’d hooked up with. The funny thing was, we’d been separated because of his job before, but this time it was for a fire. Somehow, that changed everything…it scared the h**l out of me. I surprised myself how much this first call affected me.
I’m with Fire Momma. It helped me a great deal to engross myself with SIT reports and other fire information at first. I’d have to say I was probably a little obsessed. But, it helped take the mystery out of it for me. Having gleaned a little bit of knowledge about fire in general and the fire he was on, also had the added benefit of letting him know I was interested in what he was doing – so he is more forthcoming with information now than he first was. Before this, I’d ask how things were going and I’d get a “Good”.
Don’t beat yourself up for being a “Paranoid” woman. Most of us have had years, and years of conditioning to make us the worriers (probably not a real word, but what the hay) we are. It’s a great quality when you’ve got kids to rear. We just need to remind ourselves that our men are not our children (even if they act like one from time to time) and they are pretty darn good at looking after themselves.
And planning something special for after the fire season is also a great idea. My SO and I are taking a trip when fire season is over and now I have something to look forward to. Just like Fire Momma, I dreaming of sand between my toes and ocean breezes on my face! It doesn’t have to be something extravagant or expensive – but it should be something just for you, as a couple and/or a family. I would have been happy with a camping trip to the mountains…but funny thing, he wasn’t too jacked about spending time in a tent. LOL
Boy, I am I rattling on or what?! Ok, I’m shutting up.
Take care girl,