Two people who continue to support the status quo – which is not working – is called co-dependence in psychological circles. Some people pay big bucks to get the great counseling you’re getting here for free. I know it’s hard to make a change and it’s scary too. It’s scary for both people. Easier to stay in known patterns.
Figure out what to do about your finances, make a step by step plan, and stick to it. Honor your man enough to know that he and you together (or separately) can grow yourselves out of your shared current stuck situation. Assume he will deal with it, no threats, no recriminations if he threatens. (Ab, what does recrimination mean exactly anyway?) Resolve to get on with beginning to move. View it as a challenge. Make the first step in a positive way, and you’ll be on your way. (Create an Incident Action Plan with proposed containment lines, burnout plans, and timeframes for accomplishing each goal. Firefighters are good at this goal-driven behavior.)
I like the line “fish or cut bait”, Nerd. Also, think “sh** or get off the pot!” is appropriate. (Now Ab, I didn’t say what you think I did!! I put the stars in there! You can’t find it on the bad word search engine! OK. OK, I promise not to model any bad behavior like in the good old days or theysaid…
Very nice painting! Very very nice! Rad.
I hope your honey appreciates it and appreciates YOU!
Thanks so much for sharing it with us. This familysaid crew is pretty inspirational on alternative activities to keep busy. Is painting a new hobby you took up to fill your time while separated from your SO, if you can tell us without revealing your identity? (Phew, an alternative to roller derby?? and little bloomers under those skirts!) If you paint commercially, is this your first fire painting? If not new, have you ever tried painting abstract fire? Or how about creating a logo for theysaid, that’s more along the lines of graphic art?
Glad all you folks are helping and supporting each other. I love catching up on the “goin’s on” here. You girls (and guys?) rock!
Hoosier, maybe I could come to dinner sometime?
Recrimination: a countercharge brought against an accuser.