Clark Howard Groupie, Thanks for writing back. Read on:
Yes, we have been married for ten years.
Yes, basic bills like home, car, gas, electric, food, and a few more. Everything (all bills) are in both our names.
As far as unemployment, I tried to get him to go but couldn’t make him understand that our bills need to be paid and that I am the only one bringing home money unless he gets odd jobs (his odd jobs are nothing definite, not even fighting fire back then because he didn’t go out as much). (he has gone out more this year than past years). I was the one to make the call to unemployment, not him. All he had to do was go there and they had paper work and he went one time but I couldn’t get him to go back. I feel it was male pride, I cant figure it out. He does not consider employment money as income. (We went through that when I went to college through the NAFTA program, trust me we had heated arguments over that one). I told him it was still money and even though I didn’t hold down a job, it was still income.
I have started a budget plan and it is working ok for now but our bills are piling up again and I don’t know how much more my parents can give to keep us up. I am very worried, and scared that if we don’t receive his check from FFing very soon, we will be in deeper debt than we all ready are.
I keep telling myself all the bill collectors can do is come get it, but where does that leave us? homeless and hungry. Man wouldn’t that be a pretty picture, NOT. I don’t want us to lose what we have been working for since we have been together. He hasn’t failed me as a husband, and I know how hard he works, I just want him to see my point of view and help me cope and fix the problem.
Im also not telling him to quit his FF job. He has threatened to when we have had heated arguments and I tell him he doesn’t have to quit, just find something to go along with it. In other words, find a job as a full time whatever he wants and do FF when they call him to go out. That is all I ask of him of a job. Just something to pick up the “GAP”. Is that to much to ask? I have supported him from the get go of FF and still support him and will support him as long as that is what he wants to do and in the future if he wants to do something else I will support him in that also.
I can’t tell him or have no right telling him he can’t do something but am I being unreasonable about the gap thing?