you should probably cool down and try not to explode on him, otherwise, you could end up hurting the situation rather than fixing it. it is so easy to take these types of situations personally (i know i have), but the situation may well have been that he was in a mood where he thought he wouldn’t be too much fun to talk to. i will give him the benefit of the doubt cause it’s hard to tell without knowing how he handled the situation. i’m assuming that he told you where he was, so it maybe he’s wasn’t aware of the impact this type of behavior has on you. i think sometimes, they (the FFs) get in a zone where they are just so tired and maybe frustrated because things on the fire don’t go too well (stupid people, decisions were made that no one agrees with, near death experience they don’t want to scare you with, etc.) and it’s not like they ‘go home’ after a hard day at work — they are at work with their coworkers the entire time 24/7 and sometimes that includes going to the bar. i had to learn this myself today.
my man called me sunday night and didn’t even bring up the fact that he didn’t call the last two days (which is unusual) and then when i asked him about it (calmly), he said he ‘forgot’ his cell phone. well, of course, i immediately in my mind was thinking ‘you forgot about me’, but i didn’t make a big deal about it. then it happened again last night. well, i don’t feel that this behavior is fair to me, but then again, i wasn’t there and don’t know what was going on, so i will give him the benefit of the doubt. maybe we’ll discuss it in a calm manner sometime later on after he refamiliarizes himself with being home. just as it is important for us SO’s to be supportive and understanding, it’s important for them to be the same, but it is also important to wait for the right time to discuss these things.
i love my man more than anything in the world and i want him to always look forward to coming home! i truly believe that it’s a learning experience for both sides. hang in there and good luck!