Sammi, Fire Momma, et al
Help! I’ve opened my mouth and I can’t shut up! I need some advice here, because I think I may have really messed up.
Just to give you some history here – My SO and I are pretty recent history. We met each other this winter and moved in together in April. This is my first experience having a relationship with FF and of course my first fire season. He has been on the road throughout our relationship for various reasons such as prescribed burns, fire classes and other details. The longest he has been gone since we got together has been 21 days straight. I used to travel alot in a previous job I had and was dating someone in the same company, where we were on different crews. I’ve also dated an undercover drug officer. So my problem is not the separation issue (I don’t think).
Anyway, here’s the deal. Maybe someone has some advise for me. Please don’t yell at me though, I’ve done enough of that to myself already! My SO’s helitack crew went active at the beginning of July. Since his departure we’ve enjoyed almost daily phone calls because his helibase has a phone right there. Friday night he came home for R&R. He asked me to fix a really nice dinner that night because he was bringing an old fire buddy home with. Now I will admit I was a little disappointed that I would be sharing him with someone else on his first evening home, but since I’m kind of a social butterfly and love company I soon got over that. We had a wonderful evening except for one thing – he totally (or almost totally) ignored me throughout the evening until his friend left. Since you don’t know me – let me tell you this didn’t exactly sit well with me. As a matter of fact it P’d me off! I had been so looking forward to him coming come all week! So there I was after 2 weeks of not seeing him and wishing he’d go back to the helibase!
Anyway, after his friend left then he wanted to be chummy and lovey (yeah right!). To help shorten this rather long and painful weekend, suffice it to say the whole weekend which I had been looking forward to and wanting to be perfect continued the way it started with enjoyable times mixed with us squabbling! Sunday night was the worst! Let me just say – we’ve have never done this before. We’ve have always tried to make the most of the time we are together. This is not to say we don’t argue, because we do, but we always work out our disagreements and then get on with it.
So now it’s been 3 days since he left and hasn’t called me. (I know 3 days is nothing) But it’s not when you have received phone calls everyday previous and you know he still has access to the phone! Now I’m looking at another 2 weeks before I can resolve this problem with him!
What I need advise on is – How do you keep from having fights on R&R days. I really wanted him to have an enjoyable stress free time at home and I’m sure he did too, but it was anything but. It seemed like he was looking for ways to make me mad and start an argument. HELP!!! I don’t want to go through this on future days off. Someone please give me some advise! Thanks.